When a relationship breaks down, it can be one of the most difficult times in life. And the longer you have been together, the more difficult it can be. Untangling your life takes time; it is emotionally and mentally taxing – and to top it all off, there is often a lot of paperwork that keeps coming up. 

No matter if it was a decision you made or a situation you found yourself in, there are many things that you can do to make it a little easier to cope with.

Control 

One of the most common things that happens in this situation is to feel a loss of control. Since there is no single way for a relationship to be damaged or the things that people go through after it happens, it can be tough. Try to look for things that give you control over your life in the way that feels right. 

Support

Even in the worst circumstances, you likely have people around you that you can speak to about how you feel and what is happening. Looking for support can help you see the lighter side of the situation and allow you to talk about things you may have been holding on to for a while. 

As well as family and friends, you can talk to professionals like a therapist – not only can you discuss your current feelings, but you can go through things in your past and learn how to deal with things in a better way. 

Legal 

When there are finances, children, pets and property involved, things can get messy quickly. And, rather than let things get out of control, it can be much more beneficial to seek legal advice. 

At the start of a marriage breakdown, things might be amicable, but as time goes on, circumstances can change drastically, and it can be essential to make an appointment with family lawyers. 

Children 

Even if your children appear to be doing really well with the situation, how they are feeling might come out in other ways. You can talk to them, if they are a little older, and see how they are coping, what they don’t like, what they do like and a general check-in. 

But you should be mindful but not overtly looking for any personality changes, any temperament changes or anything worrying. 

Be open with them, but don’t feel like you need to add a lot of details. Help them to understand what it means for them and their future, and offer a lot of reassurance and care. 

Time 

Perhaps the most important thing to make sure you do is to give yourself plenty of time to get used to the new situation you find yourself in. It takes time to learn to deal with things alone again. And while you might feel like you need to ‘get over it’, you should feel how you feel for as long as you need to. 

And it might just be that that time can help you: 5 Ways To Embrace Who You Really Are.